I stay there, without moving. I was afraid of what he’ll do If I move without his approval, so I prefer to stay still as he asked me before even if this situation is uncomfortable as fuck. I’ve never been afraid to show my body but now it’s different. I feel his stare on me, and it just gets my feeling worst… I’m not moving when I hear his voice again even if what he’s saying is awful… Obedient Kitten…. I would never imagine being in this fuck up situation… He closed the distance between us and again I’m not moving. When I feel his arm scooped me, it makes me sick….The skin of his arms touching my naked body disgusted me but I can’t move or even say something…He put me down on the water and with his hand he grad my hair but this time it didn’t hurt like before he make me look at him and I just do what he says, without reacting. Again, when he’s done talking, I just nod my head since it’s the only thing I can do. I watch him out of the bathroom, but he stays close. I don’t really know what he was doing since I just look at the water and not moving. I stay still for a moment before trying to ‘’relax’’ a little but all my muscles were tense, and I couldn’t enjoy this moment. I don’t know how long I was in there; I think I’m starting to lose time since I’m here. I finally hear his voice again, my time in this bath was up. He gave me a towel and asked me to get up and I did it. I wrap the towel around my body, and he approaches his hand again and this time, he removes the collar I want to grab my neck and try to make it hurt less, but I’m not moving again…I just stay there in front of him… Without a word from him, he guides me to the basement. He chained me again on the bed and I still don’t move. I watch him go up again, then came back with food. He removes the gag for me to eat I take time to just massage the side of my jaw. Even if I can, I’m not saying anything. I just nod my head again and start eating. I know he won't give me much time, so I don’t take my time I don’t want to piss him off again. When I’m done, he put it back in my mouth and when he’s gone, I stay laying on the bed and just don’t move. If I move It’ll hurt my ankles again and my jaw always hurting, I don’t want everything to be worst… Eventually, I hear some noise coming from upstairs... I try to think about something else, I didn’t want to hear what he was doing but eventually, the only thing I can hear was a girl acting too much. I understand what they were doing, but an evil man like him can’t give that much pleasure to a woman… He was turned on by hurting one!

I stay a couple of days alone in here, sometimes with the gag and sometimes without. I was enjoying every moment I didn’t have it on. Sleeping was hard with that thing, so I was just more and more tired. I can only imagine how miserable I must look… The strong girl I always think I was is not here anymore. I just wish for him to give me a break from the chain and the gag. This morning, I hear him come down and when I ears his voice, I sit up in the bed. He came close to the bed and tell me that my time here is almost up…Finally! I’ll die soon and I hope it to be fast. If only it can be fast… He removes the gag and once again I put my hands on my jaw and try to make it hurt less. He asked me something and it was the first time in days I was talking.

I will…

My voice seems weak. I’ve never heard myself this weak, but my time here made me like that. I’m not really moving, just waiting for the next thing.

Can you…tell me if I’ll die fast or slow?

I didn’t know If I can ask him or not or if he’ll tell me anything… I just want to prepare myself for the next thing that will happen and my last thing.

Her voice is frail. So fragile. I stare at her almost softly until I hear her ask about her death. That’s sweet to see - how she gave up. Not so entertaining anymore, but surely easier. I start by opening the package I’ve got in my hands, not answering her. How will she die? I don’t know… surely, if we get there, the faster the better. I can’t picture myself torturing the poor thing. She is not from our world. It’s not that I would be incapable of doing it if the boss asked for it - it’s part of the job - but I don’t feel the need to do it. I’d prefer her on all four as she was some days before. How sexy she was. How I pictured her while I fucked the other girls. It’s not that she is more sexy, only how thrilled I got when she shivered, all gagged and collared. Girls can fantasm about CNC, BDSM or leather, they can’t fake that kind of feeling. Shame on me, I don’t rape, but this time around I’d almost want to. I should have let her rot here, never bringing her upstairs. Now there’s something I want and I can’t have. Should not take.

-We’ll see. If you stay here, it’s up to me. If they’re taking you, there’s nothing I can do about it. For the time remaining, I hate to break it out to you, but I’m the best you’ll get.

From me as a keeper to who knows where she’ll end up in the organization, it would only get worse, especially if she is indeed a De Hass. They would use her as a toy until she can’t even remember her own name. If she’s not… she would probably be shipped to a whore house or to an auction to be sold to the highest bidder as his personal slut. I throw the carton box next to the staircase for when I’ll leave. The DNA kit test lay in my hands and I show her. My sarcastic tone makes up for a change of subject.

-On the great side, you’ll know for sure who your parents are before you go.

I took the sterile cotton swab from the package with great care not to touch the tips as I removed the plastic protection. I pressed her cheeks into my palm before even asking:

-Open wide.

I swabbed the inside of the mouth giving just enough pressure on my fingers so her lips would puck a little. Then, I tightened a little harder. When I felt her wince under my hand, I relaxed my grip and let her go. At last, I closed the DNA kit and put it back in its box, wandering away from my captive. I was to go upstair until I decided to update her.

-I have to mail this.. then it’s about seven days from now. So either you’ve got a week to live, or you’ve got a week until they take you elsewhere.

I let her with her thoughts. I would usually be back later to gag her, but I’ve had better ideas in mind.

***

Hours later, I was back in the basement. I approached as I would do every day since I made her clean the bath. I ordered her to sit on the bed, as usual. I took the gag and fold it in two, allowing it to look like a folded leather strap. Smoothly, I caressed her lips with the strap, then her jaw, making her lift her chin toward me. I stated, almost as a whisper, the day we were on what she got left.

-Day One, sugar.

Then, unannounced, I bent to my knees to unlock her ankle. I tossed the irons under the bed before rising again.

-Stand up.

I waited for her to obey, then I thicked my head toward the stairs.

-We are going up. You’ve got chores to do.

I knew she was obedient enough to follow my orders now, but maybe knowing she only got 7 days left would give her the will to try something. I don’t know. Escape. I wanted to test her. I wanted her to try something.. to put her in her place afterward. I wanted to see her sweat as she did. I wanted a taste of her, even without touching her. So I led her to the kitchen and then, for the first time since she was here, I opened the front door. I grasped the back of her neck mildly, not wanting her to be hurt. I just wanted her to know she was still captive even as the sun touched her skin. It was in the middle of the afternoon. The sun was still high, still hot. The air was dry, filled with sand and dust. I waited for her to take the sight in, knowing the view was nothing she was ready for.

Sightseeing :

Sightseeing:

I didn’t know if it was a good idea or not to ask him about how I’m going to die. Since the other day when he shows me, I got too far, I’m always scared and try to be as quiet as possible and don’t ask anything… But I wanted to know. I wanted to know if he will show me some kindness and kill me fast at least. I just want to go home, stay in my room, and don’t ever get out again. I wish I would never go look for my real family… If I’d known it got me here, I would have stayed away. I looked at him when he answers me… It wasn’t really what I wanted to hear… I nod my head again.

Thank you for telling me.

It didn’t help me, but he answers me that’s already that and I don’t want him to be pissed at me again. For now, I just wish I’m not going to suffer too much… It’s already painful to be here, I don’t want to live worst… I just don’t know what I wish for now… Do I want to ‘’stay’’ here with him or being drag somewhere else with God knows who… He shows me what he hands in my hand.

I’m not sure it’s great anymore… I should have stayed away from the truth…

I see that now. I know I’m here because of that… I don’t know who they are, but they already put me in a bad situation, so I guess they are not good people… He took the cotton swab and then pressed my cheeks. I’m doing what he says and open my mouth. It’s not like I got a choice, I’m better to listen to him now. His grip tightens and it hurt for a moment, when I react, he relaxed and then lets my face go… I watch him close the kit and go upstairs, but he stops on the stair. Seven days. In one week, I’ll know my fate. I didn’t think I could wish to die one day….

It took hours before he came back downstairs. He came close to me again like he’s been doing every day for à long time now… Or what seems like a long time for me. He orders me to sit, and I do exactly what he asks me. When I feel the strap on my skin, I couldn’t keep the shivers on my body. My face turns toward him, and I look at him… I’m not saying anything when he says to me, we are on day one. He bent down and unlock my ankle. I don’t have time to massage my skin before he asks me to stand up so I got up on my feet the fast as I can. I nod my head when he says I have chores to do. I go upstairs with him, and I look at him when he opens the door… The sun hit my skin and I don’t move for a moment… I look around us… Fuck… Even If I would have been strong enough, he would catch me in no time… I finally turn my face toward him to look at him.

What are my chores? What do you want me to do?

I don’t stand a chance. I’m too weak now to run and even if I wanted to do so I would at least need a place to hide but I don’t... I’ll die here, or worst but I’m feeling more broken than ever right now. It was useless to even try something. I just stay there, looking at him and wait for him to tell me what I need to do..

Psalm's Cabin :

As I saw her mind getting lost in the distance, acknowledging she would not be able to get away, I felt a weird mix of proudness and deception. Clever girl. There was nothing for miles and she understood quickly she would not have any hideaway out there. When she faced me and asked what I wanted her to do, I smirked. Since I still had the gag in my free hand, I knew it would be easy to follow my intentions.

-Turn around.

As soon as she did, I took both her wrist and tied them together, making sure the leather closed thigh around her limbs. I still held them to lead her to my jeep and forced her into the passenger seat. I clipped her seat belt into place, knowing it would be enough to hold her in place since she had no way to use her hands.

-It’s near enough.

I jumped in my own seat and turned the key, making the jeep roar. I drove half a mile to get there : far in the distance, since there was nothing in between, she could already see what I intended to show her. I explained as if it would change anything.

-I have got a lot to do on the farm. Making you do pointless chores did not help my schedule.. We’ll give you real things to occupy you with.

I parked the jeep in the middle of the road, knowing there was no way any other vehicles would make their way there. I exited the car, bringing a grey-ish cloth, and closed my door firmly before going around to help my captive. There was a shelter, some sheep guarded by the dogs - two Australian shepherds  - and I knew for sure two goats were hidden somewhere in the bushes. I held her hands and pushed her until we entered the shelter. As soon as we set foot in the door frame, we were submerged by the sound of chickens cacklings on the ground and rabbits running to hide themselves in the back of their individual cages. That’s where I headed, still leading the brunette to her chores of the day. At last, I stopped in front of a cage, one of almost a dozen.

-You’ll clean them. All of them..

I untied her wrist and placed a small gardening shovel into her palm, but before I release her hand, I pressed her back to my chest, murmuring into her ears.

-Do not wander around. The pigs are used to eat human flesh as an occasional treat.

Without any other words, I unfolded the grey cloth, revealing a large T-shirt I easily slipped over her head. I did not give her any help to place her arms in the right holes. Soon enough, her bare ass was now covered and I knew it would help her as the farm straw could be very itchy. This would be a small consolation as she would have to hold poop and straws drenched in pee. I left her alone, only to be 5 feets away, securing some loose plank at the back of the shelter. Always keeping an eye on her, I kept myself busy.

Looking around me was like the last thing my mind seems to need to realize how real it was that I will never escape this place. Since I’m here, I’ve never tried to escape yet, just because I never really found a good plan…But now…All my hope, as small as they were, just vanish. I will clearly die here. I will never leave this place. I turn to face him, asking what he wants me to do…When he asked to turn around, I just did. He tied my wrists together and I just don’t move. I’m waiting for him to tell me what to do…I don’t know how much time I have so now, I’ll just do as I’m told. If I can have my last day to be… more comfortable, I’ll do what I must do. He leads me to his jeep and makes me sit in the passenger seat. He clipped my seat belt and I just nodded when he said it's near enough. I didn’t even look at him when he speaks again. I think now, I’m just broken.

As you wish…

I didn’t know If he wants me to answer or not. My mind was simultaneously lost in so many places that it was hard to focus on what he wanted. I just hope he didn’t ask me something and I didn’t answer the right thing. When the jeep stops to move, he got out and unfortunately, he came for me. He makes me get out of the car and held my hand on my back as he forces me to move. When we passed the door frame, we got hit by the sounds of chicken and the smell of the farm. He leads me in front of a dozen cages full of rabbits…. We stop in front of them when he tells me I’ll clean them all. I’m pretty sure at this moment, my face froze more than it was already. I’ve never even had a goldfish; I don’t know how to clean that. I turn my face to him.

I’ve never done that… Will you tell me if I’m not doing it right?

I didn’t want him to be mad at me…Now, it was the last thing that I wanted… He untied my wrist and place something in my hands… He pressed my back on his chest and talk in my ears….

Yes sir…

The word has passed my lips even before I could think about it…Why sir? I don’t know his name, but I could just not say anything… He slipped a large t-shirt over my head, and I passed my arms in the right place and feel better now that my body was a little more covered… When he let me go, I just start the task. It was awful… It disgusted me but I was doing my best to clean as I could…Was I perfect? No…. But I was really trying to focus when all I wanted now was to wake up from this nightmare…

I simply nodded as she asked if I would tell her if she was doing it wrong. Of course, I’d tell her. Maybe I would not be soft enough while doing it, but I’d tell her. In between two hammer blows, sounding, I watched the girl. Her every move. She was sure doing what I asked, but god, did she ever saw a rabbit that close? The little demons were running from her hands as if they thought she was a clumsy fox. Time passed and the girl was still going at it. The brunette was quite slow, but steady. She dared not take a break until I told her to. Soon, but not quite yet.

I approached her, staying three foot behind, staring at her progress. I liked to stare her down while she was working. She was rising my excitement up when she used her combative spirit, but I had to recognize I liked her face when she calmed down. I did not took the time to process her traits when she was in the basement. I did once she went up in the kitchen. It was quickly forgotten by the sheer look of terror she beared during our intercation in the bathroom. Today, she was calm. taken aback by the surrounding, sure, but there was no fury nor fear overbearing her feature. It was bringing forward the prettiness she was hiding underneath the filth piling up on her skin. She was probably gorgeous when wearing make up and high heels, but I was not to pout when I knew her bare ass was barely covered by the t-shirt I gave her. Nakedness is sill better than diamonds and dresses in my book.Nakedness and leather. Stopping myself from any further Idea I caught myself having, I grabbed a water bottle and hand sanitizer, closing the distance between us.

-Break time, sugar. If you don’t hydrate yourself, you’ll faint.

I forced her hands into mine, pouring hand sanitizer into them and massaged her palm. I did it roughly on purpose, battling the urge to hear her moan louder from the small amouth of pain I was infliging her. I explained myself, as if it was necessary. It was not. She was obedient as a puppy.

-It would be a shame to die to dirrahea from a bacteria you’d caught here. Dying from unnecessary suffering is a thing, but I guess dignity is another.

I talked about her death so casually, it was as it was already written in the stars. I wished her to die here. That was far better from dying elsewhere. Enduring more. I let go of her hand, giving her the -sadly- room temperature water bottle. It would be a shame for her to die, thought.. her mouth was shining from the water flowing over her lips. What a shame. I’d bury myself into those lips for the hell of me if I had the chance. To help me focus on something else, I adverted my eyes and layed my stare on the rabbit cages. So slow. It was good enough, though. Those would never look brand new anyway. Still.

-You’ll have to be quicker. They have to be unsoiled by tonight.. the forecast say it’ll be cold and they risk getting sick if the straw are still drenched. I’m not in the mood to delay dinner, either. Do better.

I looked her down and turned to get to my own chores. This time, I got out as I needed to fix things outside and feed the chickens. I knew I was bargaining but I needed to know.. I wanted to know if she’d try something. Hiding a nail under her shirt - my shirt. Every now and then, I walked into the shelter to have a look, assess her progress and search her surrounding for anything suspicious.

Two hours before dinner, she was still not done. She greatly did 5 cages out of the 12 I got, but she was still working on the 6th. I muttered a sound of dissaprouval. I was able to recongnise she was slow out of clumsyness and lack of experience, but it was too late to redeem her failure. But, perhaps.. If I’d use a warmer tone all day, I spoke to her as coldly as I could, staring at her work.

-How sad it is that you won’t be able to obey, this time again. It’s as if you’d do it on purpose.. I told you to be quicker.

I folded my arms across my chest, wondering what to to. Perhaps, only perhaps, I could make this work without being lenient. The tricks was to scare her into giving herself away. She is already so prone to accept anything I ask of her, still. I could…

-I’d be happy to discipline you, you know. You’d be cute in one of those cage. I’d make sure to come back to get you first thing in the morning, as the bars would dive into your delicate skin and the cold bite your toes.. But that would not prevent the rabbits from dying.

I grazed the cages from the tips of my fingers. I did not look at her as I said :
-What if we make a deal? I help to clean them before dusk, but you are in charge of dinner tonight.

I locked my eyes into hers, watching for a sign of acceptance. For a deal to close.

He’ll say it to me…. I hope he will I never did anything like that, and I don’t want to make him angry. Since I’m here I was a brat with him, pushing him and just hating him loud and clear but I push it too far and now I just don’t want to push anymore. I’ve never been afraid like I was when he put, his gun at me…. I just start working when he asks me and try to do my best. I don’t know how much time I was supposed to take for one cage, but my ignorance was showing now. I suck at that. I have never been close to any kind of animal, so I was nervous around them, and the rabbits feel it… I try to react the least I was able to, but I know the men that kidnapped will notice anyway. After a moment, he talks to me again and I turn to him when he closed the distance between us. I simply nob when he says it was time to hydrate myself. He forces my hand in his and put hand sanitizer in then and rubs a lot rougher than he could… I couldn’t keep the weird sounds past my lips. It was hurting my hand which was already hurt for the way I was cleaning the past hours…When he talks again, I lift my eyes to look at him…I was dying to say something… Like I was having my dignity…. I was cleaning his rabbits' cage… I was nothing anymore.

Can I ask how are you so comfortable with death?

I just shut my mouth on what I wanted to say, and just ask this… My voice was weak and calm, and I didn’t recognize it myself…. I will die with all my life stolen away from me and with no pride left in me.,. I was at the mercy of a monster and if I understand, it can become worst the next day… I could maybe find something and just kill myself faster…. He gave me the water and I drink a little…

I’m sorry… I’ll be faster and do better…

How stupid am I … I feel like a little girl, trying to make myself forgiven…. I stop to drink and just go back to my task. I try hard to clean better and faster. I’ve hurt myself more time than I could count now but I’m not saying anything. I was tired and my body hurt in a way they never hurt before, and I wasn’t happy with my work… I feel like a child who can’t do anything… He’ll be mad at me, and I know. I don’t know again how much time passed before he came back to me. I know he has left the place a couple of times to go work outside because I was always feeling when he was close… My body was reacting in fear when he is close enough… When he speaks to me again, I froze for a second and the other I was panicking…

I’m sorry I really tried… I swear I didn’t do it on purpose I wanted to do better!

My voice was shaking, and I was hating myself for letting my emotions get so… visible to him… I was showing him too much of how vulnerable I was now… I needed to find my strength again, but I didn’t know how when I know he can kill me and… I don’t want to die…

Please no…

My voice stops there, I didn’t even know what to say…I don’t want to beg really but It was stronger than me… I don’t want to stay here tonight… He found a deal and told me…. I was so screwed…. Fuck how could I do that??? I never did anything…

I…. I don’t really know how to cook…. I only know how to make pancakes…. But I’ll try if you want…

I was mad at my family right now…. I never feel so much useless…. I was nothing. I can’t do anything by myself because they never show my anything… They spoiled me and that’s it…

I’ll do better…

I take again the tools for cleaning in my hand, now realizing they were a little of my blood on them, and just start cleaning again and I was doing the best I could to make it faster and good…

How I was so comfortable with death.. That was a great question. I did not want to think too much about it, though. There was no “ I was forced to do it “, no “I was in a bad place” to begin with. I never saw how I could make an honest life knowing there were guys out there killing for a living and earning enough money to live their best life. There was no way I’d be able to go back to a normal life, paying rent and marrying the girl next door. When I started out in life, I was a correctional officer in a big jail on the other side of the country. My moral was very gray to begin with. In no time, I was corrupted, getting money to give better treatment to mafia heirs and heads of big organizations. Soon enough, I landed side gigs by killing some prisoners they wanted gone. I did not see how it was wrong to kill one who was already in the vice. Then I stopped seeing the difference between the ones I killed in prison and those I was ordered to kill outside the jail’s walls. It was as natural as it could be… I never felt any wrong. When I was asked to be a keeper, I did not hesitate twice. It was worth the money. It was worth being in a safe place since there were still people out of the organization who could call me out while I worked in the prison. It was worth everything. But once I had money, I did not see why I’d spent it .. hence why I was in the cabin and not in a mansion. it was easier to conceal things out here. So…how was I so comfortable with death…

-Death is natural. People out there are just making a big deal out of it.

That was the best I could give.

***


She was beautiful, breaking into pieces. Begging. What a sight to see. I never thought toying with my captives could be so fascinating. I was used to torture and kill, but this.. this was another sort of thrill. She was shattering, mumbling. I knew she did not know how to cook. I knew. That did not matters. She’ll try… not enough. She’ll do better… not enough. I needed to hear her say it. She was already trying to clean the 6th cage, wasting no time. I closed the distance between us and grabbed her chin. I stared right into her eyes, only lowering my eyes as I kept my stance right, towering her. My tone was neutral, clear. I stated my instructions as if I was training her. I was.

-I asked you something, doll. I did not ask if you knew how to cook. I asked if you’ll feed me tonight in exchange of my help for your chores. the only answer I’ll accept is a Yes or a No.

I waited for her answer.

In one swift move, I opened the cage and cupped the brown rabbit in the palm of my hand before putting him in another cage with a friend of his. For the time remaining, it would still be safe to put those two together as they were both males. Then, I rolled the mat created by the cluster of straws and pulled it out. I picked the bits that were still stuck, that part took me more time though. I addressed the brunette :

-See how it’s easier done? You’ll have to put some muscles in to ripe the straw this way, though.

I washed the dirt remaining, dried everything by patting down old rags, and created a clean bed of fresh straws at the bottom. Overall, by the time she was done, I had done more than twice the amount of work she had done. I knew it was thank to my experience, but also my strength. She would not be able to pull all the straws out as fast as I could. Still. She could have been quicker. I would have expected her to after the third one. I took care to put every rabbit in its nest, changing its water tank and feeding them all while she finished the last cage remaining. Of course, we finished before the time I said it would be done: I knew I had enough time. She would not have had this change if she had not taken my offer. Her hands were scratched, her fingertips bloodied. The shirt I lent her was so dirty in the front I could barely recall its color. She was a mess. I made sure not to apply pressure on her wrist while I tied her hands and pushed her onto the passenger seat. She was hurting enough for now.

The ride home was quick, but it seemed longer than before. I was itching to be home, itching to take a bath. Itching to eat. In this order. Once we arrived, I secured the door behind us and guided the girl toward the bathroom.

-Be sure to be as clean as one can. There is no way I’m eating dirt.

I could not let her alone for long, so as I waited for her to take her bath, I quickly moved a footstool near the kitchen counter. Also, I removed my shirt and my socks, keeping only my jeans on - and the gun in my back pocket, of course. I was gone only a minute, making sure our dirty clothes were going straight into the laundry machine. It smelled so bad it would have sucked during dinner. I let her take her time, waiting for her to instruct me when she was done.

If I gave her a clean towel, I did not grace her with clothes this time around. Not yet. Taking her to the kitchen, I tied her hands to a cupboard over the counter. Giving her space, I went to the living room - which was hidden behind a gray-ish door - where I set an old turntable to play music.

-I’ll take a quick bath. Don’t pass out - you still owe me.

Then I looked at her :

-Want to sit on the counter, since you’re certainly strained from the chores?

I asked, but she did not really have a say in it. I helped her to sit steady and made my way to the bathroom. Every minute passing by was a new life sentence. My thoughts were going round and round in my head as I thoughtfully washed my skin and my long hair. I put on a clean jeans before exiting the place.

There she was, naked in all her glory on my countertop. My thoughts, once so clear, were clouded as I was taking the scene in. I could still stop myself - I could still go to town - I could still have a great night with any willing girl. Tie her in thick leather, make her scream. But it was so fake. If their moans were reals, submission was willingly given. They can withdrawn their conscent anytime.. I don't want something they can take away from me.  Those women were not giving me half what I could take here and now. I want to win over something I don't have, something I'll never have. As I make my way toward my captive, I knew I would not back up : but I'd still only take what she traded me.

I placed myself in front of her, lowering myself to tower her lap. I layed a knee on a footstool I thoughtfully placed there while she was in the bath. Painfully slowly, I grazed her leg, knee to her groin. When she moved, I applied just enough pressure to immobilize her legs. Her hands being tied to the cupboard, She would not even be able to bend her torso enough to protect her nether's region. I gave her a piercing look from my unusual standpoint, half amuzed, dead serious. I did not break eyes contact as I licked her pale skin - only the tip tickling her sensitive skin of her inner thight. Then I digged my fingertips into her skin, making sure she was whimpering. I beamed, relishing every small cry escaping her mouth. I was avoiding using my shorts nails, not to cut her, but I made the pression slowly increasing until the pain was enough for her to try to retreat herself from my grasp.

-Don't. You owe me dinner : I'm having lamb.

I didn’t know what to say to his answer… Making a big deal out of it? When you’re old and your time is up, It’s not the same thing as me. I’m young and I should have more time to live, to experiment with different things, but I’m here being kept against my will, and I know I’m not going to live old. He makes that clear that if he’s not the one to kill me, the next person who is going to take me is going to be a lot worse than him and I don’t want to know worse than him. I already think of a way to die if I need to… But right now, I don’t have anything to say to him, so I just nob for now…. But after, I was breaking again, more than I think. I was begging for him to not let me here… I know I’m no use to him, I don’t know how to do anything, and he asks me a lot…. He came close to me and grab my chin, locking his eyes on mine…

Yes.

Again, I’m going to deceive him. I don’t know how to cook, I don’t know what I could do for him, but again I’ll try. I don’t want to sleep here and even if I don’t want to say it at loud, I need his help. With my answer, he starts to job. I keep my eyes on him, looking at how he’s doing it. He picks up the rabbits so easily It was that easy, too easy for me, but I know I’ve got to try like he does if I was to survive this moment. I watch every step he’s doing so I could try to do the same thing. When he talks to me again, I look at his face more than his hands.

You’re a lot stronger than me, you make it seem so easy.

I didn’t talk like before; I wasn’t having any attitude right now. I was just…talking to him. It felt weird the second I stop talking how my voice was calm and just normal in my sentence. I start with a new cage right after, trying to distract me. Why did I speak this calmly to him? Not like he was my kidnapper, just like he was a guy. I know I’m fucking scared of him now and I can’t keep my brat attitude if I want to have a little peace right now but he’s not just a person … I try to do like him, but I wasn’t strong like him, I was a weak stupid girl right now. I’m not saying a girl can’t do it like him, but not me…. I promised myself right now that, if I survived this, I’ll never be that helpless after. I’ll take some classes to learn how to protect myself, a cooking class and I’m going to train myself. I know I’m thinking too much because I’m not going to survive this, but a girl can dream. When we were finally done, thanks to him more than to me, he tied my wrist again and push me into his car, but he did it more…. Kindly? He just didn’t hurt me more this time. Once we are in the house, he secures the door and guides me toward the bathroom. I nod again my head to answer him then I take off the shirt he put on me before and go into the bathtub. I start to clean myself. I made sure to wash every part of my skin, I was disgusted by myself anyway… I let myself enjoy the water of this bath a little, it helps with my sore skin… Once my body and hair were clean, I told him I was done, and he came to me with a clean towel but no clothe again… I’m really not ashamed of my body even with the little weight that I lost since I’m here, but I don’t like the idea of being naked around him. I’ve had to try very hard this time to not look too much at him. His chest was covered in tattoos, and I couldn’t keep myself to look a little at all these muscles on him…If he wasn’t my kidnapper, I could say this man was fucking hot, but I’m not into crazy men. I locked the towel around my body, and he took me to the kitchen. He tied again my hands to a cupboard. He goes to the other room, and I kept my eyes on him… He suddenly asks If I want to sit on the counter, but I don’t really have time to answer before he helps me get on the counter then, he disappears into the bathroom. I took this time to relax… It wasn’t comfortable really, but after that exhausting day all I want right now is to go to sleep but I know I need to cook for him… I was trying to prepare myself to ask him for clothes since I don’t really want to but my sensible skin… I hope he let me get dressed a little at least…

After a moment, he came back into the kitchen still wearing just jeans. He still has some water on his skin, and it makes me look more than I wanted. I turn my eyes fast when I realize what I was doing. I try to just look away and give him time to come and untie me so I could try to cook for him…He stay there a little then finally came toward me. He places himself in front of me, then lower himself and panic came to me really quickly. What in hell was he doing? I try to move to make myself go away from him, but he immobilizes me. When he licked my skin, I know he could see how afraid I am right now. He's not really going to do that??? The only thing I was not too much scared of him to do was that… I was thinking I dislike my looking so I was feeling safe but now he scared me more. He makes too much pressure with his finger on my skin, and I could not keep a weird sound escape my lips… I try to move again showing I want him to let me go. When he speaks again, I open my mouth and then closed it again…was he really saying what I think he was.

What???? Me?? I…I thought I was not…. You certainly have a lot of girls willing to do that for you! You don’t need to do that….

My voice was fast, I was panicking again, and it was showing so easily now…. I didn’t want him to go down on me. I don’t want him to taste me, I don’t want him to do that… I don’t want to like what he’s doing!

I…. You wanted me to cook for you…. You’ll still be hungry it does give you anything to do that…Please….