Just like that, everything ends. He locks me up one last time and I am done. I’m gone with these men. I try not to listen too much, I try to think of a way to escape because I don’t know what will happen to me but I’m still in the chain, so I can’t do anything. It was the last time I was seeing Psalm and that was a relief. The car runs for a long time before I start to fall asleep… The next thing I remember, is some voice around me, telling them they don’t want me armed and to be gentle with me, to bring me home and assure I was safe before I start to wake up and they give me something to sleep… Then, when I woke up again, this time completely, I was alone in a beautiful apartment. I got up to look outside to see I was in New York. What the fuck did happens to me.



It's been a couple of weeks since everything happened to me. I was free for a couple of weeks, but I was feeling trapped. I got news of my birth parent. They were paying for me to be here. They provided me with everything I needed like clothes, food and more. They sent me a note saying they would be patient and to reach out to them when I was ready to meet them, until then they would ensure my security. At first, I didn’t want any of that…But I was feeling better, sleeping better. I spend so much time in here…. But tonight was my first night out. I reached out to my friends, and they invited me to go out. I put on a cute black dress then I got out and joined my friend in a bar. After an hour I was feeling a little anxious, too many people in the same room…. I used to love those places!  I stopped dancing and went to the bar to grab a drink, trying to make me relax.

(what she wear :

Spoiler:

)

My whole world was falling appart. The day the girl was taken away, I was convincing myself I could get over it. Sure thing, I was wrong. I got contract, only for those who set foot into my cabins to die in much more pain than necessary. I tried so hard to get my head to be thrilled on something else, or on someone else.. If god hated me before, I sure was on his hitlist for everything I did in those weeks. There was no redemption anyway. In less than a month, ever since the girl came in, I caved in, ignoring all my cardinals principles. Now, I was almost feral. How could I ever get the same as I was? Everything felt so little at once. If trifling days and menials tasks were peaceful before, it was a never-ending itching to my core now. It took me weeks to get at peace with it - or much more to give up my bland idea of a living. It took me weeks, but once my mind was set.. there was no coming back. Asking to be traded in and sent to the American continent was a bad plan to begin with, but I was a shell of a man. Asking to be set to work in New York had me bargaining my worth a lot, but I succeeded. Finding her address and her schedule was a piece of cake thank to the network. They hid her in plain sight.. did they even tried?

That night, I saw her getting out of the skyscraper she was living in. She was holing up since I arrived, so I couldnt help but to smile, seeing her without any security, as ready as a flower is to be picked. Of course, I would not, but the idea was giving me the first adrenaline boost I had since weeks. I grabbed my leather coat, knowing this city has awful weather - damn my australian ass for never knowing cold - and I tailed the cab she took to the club, then followed her into the place. It was not my kind of place, but I had no say in it. To be sure not to get spotted, I paid the doorman to get me to a VIP seat, where I was able to see the whole bar on some tv and through a dark veil. I probably would have to get into the regular to some of her favorite bar to be able to come and go as I pleased.. I kept this idea in mind as I stared at her from my seat. The brunette was awfully close to too many people, dancing in the open. Seeing her this way.. I convinced myself to stay low. I was not sure yet I would approach her, but it made me feel à little fulfilled to have her in my reach. I savored how she looked, her glowing skin and her long legs. But God, I hated her dress. Maybe I would live on to hate everything she would put on to cover her stomach and her lower back.

I was trying to restart my life. Since my kidnapping, I lost all the free minds I had before. My life was so easy before, I was a little spoiled girl who never had to fight for anything… Now everything has changed. I was afraid to go out and live what happened to me all over again, but I didn’t want my fear to guide my life. I needed to go out again so tonight was the night! My friends from my old life were waiting for me, they were curious about what had happened to me because I had just disappeared, but I said to them that I needed time to myself…. I don’t want them to be in danger because I talk to munch so I kept all to myself. Getting ready reminded me of everything I was before and being here again tonight too. I move to the dance floor for a moment, moving my hips and trying to just forget, but the people around me make it difficult. I needed a moment, so I decided to go to the bar and grab myself a drink. I stayed there a moment, alone at the bar and honestly, I drank a couple of shots then I got back to my friends. I lost track of the time with the effect of the alcohol. After a moment, I felt some hands on me, a man was standing behind me and grabbing me to him. I turn around fast and slap him in the face.

Don’t touch me!

Men! They think they can touch women only because we’re dancing here! I don’t want people touching me without me asking for it. People around us stop moving a little to watch the scene. I looked at my friends… They knew me, they knew that before I would never react that way.

I’m… sorry, I think I’ll go home I don’t feel good… I’ll call you!

Before they could say something, I just walked away. I make sure I have everything then go. I called a cab luckily for me, at this time they stay close! I jump in one and head straight home. I got out of the cab and I looked around myself, I just enjoyed for a minute the feeling of freedom to be outside like that…

I was so enticed by her dancing, looking at her so closely on the screen, I’m pretty sure I saw the guys touching the thin fabric of her dress before the brunette even knew he was pulling her into him. Despite myself, I clenched my theet to suppress the growl of desaprobation I had coming. Of course, it was a club, I could have seen it coming, so I held myself together and stared at the live cast. I subtly grinned when I saw the girl slapping the newcomer. “Breath. Shout. Kick. Do something to help yourself, in the fucking name of God.” ‘twas what I said back then. Good girl. How beautiful she was when she was almost shivering both from fear and anger. Her glowy skin reacted to this simple contact and how I wished it was I who touched her.  There was no sounds on the live stream - of course since we had the full music effect already, being separated by nothing but a veil - but I knew at her demeanor she was going. And so would I, after I took care of a little something first.

It took almost no effort to get to her friends. As I approached them, I had put a black mask covering my mouth and nose. In this post-covid era, this was not an uncommon thing. I did not mind the tattoos, as I hid the most behind long black sleeves and a black chino pant. I landed my pick on one blond girl,  recognizing her as the one who looked the less close to Bethany. The loud music served me right and I refrained from pilling my aussie’s accent by gesturing my question :  if I could put my number into her cellphone. Of course i did not, but she unlocked her screen and, as I was typing a fake number, I looked through her contact to get Bethany’s number. The De Haas family has their own number labeled onto most of the legal papers, so I figured it was one easy was to get my hand on her personnal contact.

I was alredy sick of seeing this vain blondy so I signed her farewell, already looking for my second target of the night.

I was hoping she would come home straight away, but I had nothing to back up the theory. After all, this was the first time she clubbed while I was there. I did not park my new car in the underground parking when I arrived in front of her building - and mine, since I rented a place right on the other side of the street. Instead, I parked in one of the few remaining spot on the street and aligned my lights as if I was waiting for someone. There she was, almost getting into the building. I enjoyed looking at her as she disappeared behin the glass door of the skyscraper.

Cellphone : incoming message:

I changed. I knew it before tonight, but it became clearer now. I would never have minded if a man touched me like that before but now, I don’t want men to touch me without my consent. I don’t want them near me except If I decide otherwise and tonight, I didn’t go out for that, I just wanted to find who I was now…But clearly, I’m not a club girl anymore. I don’t know what I’ll do now, I must find. When I arrive home not too long after I’ve left the club, I go up to my apartment and lock the door behind me… It took maybe 2 minutes before my phone rang. I took it and looked at the message…. WTF? His hands crushed. What happens?

*- Crushed! God that’s awful! I guess yeah… I’m home safe now, everything’s ok! I’ll call you tomorrow! *


I didn’t know what to say… Was that my family? Would they do that? I guess, since they pay, I don’t know how much to have me realize, I guess they don’t want anybody hurting me anymore…. I was thinking of calling them to know, but I changed my mind. I went to my room to change into shorts and a crop top to sleep in, but I wasn’t tired for now I brought my blanket into the living room put it on the couch and watched a movie there. That was my favorite moment of the day.


***

The next few days I start having a life a little. I wasn’t so sure of myself, so I found a class on self-defense and started to learn how to protect myself and how to fight back a little. I’m not very good for now, but it’s a start! I start moving more and doing more exercise to train myself. I didn’t want to be the girl I was back there with Psalm, so I had to change and honestly, it felt good! My day now seems to be always the same, but it was good. I wake up early, make myself a coffee then go for a run. I came back to shower then I went to grab myself breakfast at a little coffee near my apartment. I could stay there for a couple of hours to read and try to figure out what I want to do…. I can stay all day doing nothing! Later in the day, I went to the gym, training and then self-defense.

Today was like any other day, I went for my run this morning, came back home to refresh myself a little then got out again. I was on my computer in the coffee now, relaxing and looking into what I could do in the future. I was starting to think about asking to become a helper in my self-defense class, maybe some women would be more comfortable with other women! I took my phone and texted my friend, asking her if she would join me this morning, then wait. I’m starting to feel the need to see more of the people I care for.